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The Place of Art in Education – Nandalal Bose Bengali Meaning |Class 11 আয় আরো বেঁধে বেঁধে থাকি (কবিতা) SAQ | আয় আরও বেঁধে বেঁধে থাকি কবিতার অতিসংক্ষিপ্তধর্মী প্রশ্নোত্তর নদীর বিদ্রোহ MCQ | নদীর বিদ্রোহ বহুবিকল্পধর্মী প্রশ্নোত্তর | দশম শ্রেণী দেবতামুড়া ও ডম্বুর (গল্প)- সমরেন্দ্র চন্দ্র দেববর্মা বেড়া (ছোটোগল্প) – মানিক বন্দ্যোপাধ্যায় সিংহের দেশ(গল্প) – বিভূতিভূষণ বন্দ্যোপাধ্যায় সুভা (ছোটোগল্প) – রবীন্দ্রনাথ ঠাকুর নতুনদা (গল্প) – শরৎচন্দ্র চট্টোপাধ্যায় দস্যু-কবলে (গল্প) – বঙ্কিমচন্দ্র চট্টোপাধ্যায় সামান্যই প্রার্থনা (কবিতা) – বিজনকৃষ্ণ চৌধুরী

Soon after my wife died — her car slid off an icy road in 1985 — a school psychologist warned me that my children and I were not mourning in the right way. We felt angry; the proper first stage, he said, is denial.

In late August this year, my 38-year-old son, Michael, died suddenly in his sleep, leaving behind a 2-year old son and a wife expecting their next child.

There is no set form for grief, and no ‘right’ way to express it. There seems to be an expectation that, after a great loss, we will progress systematically through the well-known stages of grief. It is wrong, we are told, to jump to anger — or to wallow too long in this stage before moving towards acceptance.

But I was, and am, angry. To make parents bury their children is wrong; to have both my wife and son taken from me, for forever and a day, is cruel beyond words.

A relative from Jerusalem, who is a psychiatrist, brought some solace by citing the maxim: ‘We are not to ask why, but what.’ The ‘what’ is that which survivors in grief are bound to do for one another. Following that advice, my family, close friends and I keep busy, calling each other and giving long answers to simple questions like, “How did your day go today?” We try to avoid thinking about either the immediate past or the bereft future. We take turns playing with Max, Michael’s two-year-old son. Friends spend nights with the young widow, and will be among those holding her hand when the baby is born.

Focusing on what we do for one another is the only consolation we can find.

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